Our Legacy
Last month, we anticipated the death of my Aunt Eleanor after a courageous battle against pancreatic cancer. As I thought about her, her life and her impact on my life, the word that kept resonating was “legacy”, which was reinforced at her funeral on December 28, 2009.
I was born in the small town of Hays, Kansas and moved to Arizona when I was nine years old. Before moving, we (my 3 siblings and I) had the benefit of living near my grandparents and getting to know all of the cousins and aunts and uncles who came home to visit. I have very vivid memories of my Aunt Eleanor reading fun books to me when I was very young and only recently realized that it was only on her visits from Arizona that she spent that time with me. She was also with me after I had my tonsils out at 8 years old and allowed me to play baseball in the backyard with my brother (coincidentally ending up back in the hospital) the day after my surgery only after my begging and pleading. Again, this was on a trip “home” to visit that she chose to stay with us while my parents were working.
The book “Tiki Tiki Tembo” was one of my favorites as a child, which in turn, I have bought for my own girls and my nieces was one the she introduced to me. Another was a book of poems by A.A. Milne (of Winnie the Pooh fame) given to me on my sixth birthday with the final poem in the book called, “Now We Are Six,” which I STILL (almost 40 years later) remember every word AND, I have given that as sixth birthday gifts to little girls in my life.
Aunt Eleanor was a high school history teacher (finishing her teaching years at our rival high school, which she rubbed in on a regular basis) and had a love for the history of the state of Arizona and of her home state of Kansas. As a young girl, she would send me gifts from places of historical significance-the one I remember the best, that I kept for many, many years was a Native American woman sitting at a weaving loom. When my father-in-law passed away a few years ago and was buried in a cemetery for migrant workers on the west side of Phoenix, she took a “field trip” and went to see this small piece of Arizona history that was significant to me.
When Elizabeth traveled to Sweden to play soccer, she followed her online, very, very interested in her travels (I doubt she really liked soccer but for that week, she did because Elizabeth was playing in another country).
There were many years that she was absent in our lives and with her passing, I regret that in that time I didn’t get to experience her enthusiasm and her knowledge about so many things in the world and things that, only recently I have found out that we have in common.
At her funeral, many friends and colleagues spoke about their relationship with her and in that time, I realized that, like me, she:
- Had a heart for troubled young people as testified to by a man whose son-in-law credits her with changing his life.
- Supported Young Life, sending a young lady to Africa with ASU College Young Life
- Enjoyed sewing: she was a quilter-that I will attempt some day
- Finished her education later in life and then was passionate about what she did with it
- Had a deep devotion to her faith
From this journey through her passing, I have realized that we have the opportunity to create our own legacy. What is mine? How does my life speak to those around me? How will my life make a difference in the lives of others? What about other attributes like humor (my aunt had a very dry sense of humor) and spirituality and compassion? There is a book called “Let Your Life Speak”…don’t recall the author and, honestly, I haven’t read it but it was recommended to me by a respectable person in my life. I think the title is very poignant and convicting.
Here’s to Aunt ‘Or…
